I don’t have an idea for a blog post.

            I can’t seem to come up with something to write about. I have no interesting thoughts. It feels as though my mind is completely blank. Like I don’t think about anything at all. It’s just the things in front of me that I can even think about. Whether it be assignments I ought to complete, food I ought to eat, games I want to play, or girls I want to date, it feels like I have only bothered to deal with things that I want to do or what I ought to do. Thinking back on the kinds of things I concern myself with, I’m starting to realize that I don’t really concern myself with things that are more abstract. I’m not sure if this necessarily is a bad thing, but I would think some kind of intellectual sophistication comes with taking the time to think about things that are a little more removed from what is directly in front of me.

            My friend Sueng often seems to be looking past me when we eat dinner, thinking about something else. I feel like my mind is too concerned with getting food in my mouth without spilling it on my hoodie that I can’t really seem to muster the kind of brain power to be thinking of something else. The thing is, I still end up spilling food on my hoodie. I have to wash at least one of my hoodies every week because I’m not even good at eating. When I’m walking to class, an activity that really shouldn’t take too much real estate in my brain, the only thing I can seem to think about are the individual steps that I am taking and the route I need to follow to get to class. This is really strange to me. I’ve walked to my class many times this semester, and my class has never moved. Yet, it seems that all I can think about is the process of getting to class.

            Even when I can find the time to think, I just end up thinking about what will come tomorrow. When will I go to sleep? When will I wake up? When I will go to breakfast? What homework will I do? After going through my mental image of the next day, I find something else more immediate to think about. I can’t seem to latch onto anything for long enough to form any solid thoughts about them. I think to myself, “it would be cool if I developed my thoughts about the salamander coefficient,” but I can’t keep thinking about it for too long. My mind goes back to thinking about what I want to or need to do.

            Maybe it is that my life is so busy that I really can’t bother with taking some time off to think. But I really don’t think that this is the case. I have plenty of free time, I really do. Maybe it is that I have been too lazy, too relaxed about the way I go about living my day to day life. Maybe it is that I’ve gotten myself in the routine of never thinking deeply about anything that I now have difficulties doing that. I don’t really know. I can’t think about it long enough to figure it out.

Post by Kai