The man in the mirror
But I hate standing in front of the mirror.
As Nietzsche stared into the abyss, I stared into my reflection in the mirror. Like the abyss stared back at Nietzsche, my reflection, too, would stare back at me. But unlike Nietzche's abyss, my reflection was no illusion. I had no doubts about what the reflection represented. A person who could not accept himself for who he was.
Some might suggest I brush my teeth without looking at the mirror. But whether I continue to stare or only look while my eyes graze past, it doesn't really matter. My doppelganger would continue to lurk in the mirror, nonetheless. At the end of the day, I am who I am. Regardless of whether I check or not.
I am never far enough away from sanity that I forget who I am. The mirrors in my bathroom and the mirrors that the people around me hold up absolutely ensure I will never forget.
I would tell myself that I am not so vain as to be overly obsessed with how I looked. But at the end of the day, that's what it comes down to. Appearances.
People always want to downplay the role that appearance plays, but for me, it's something I could never get over. You would be deluding yourself if you genuinely believed a person's appearance did not matter. What we see in the mirror, what we think others see, they all fundamentally shape our self-image.
And for me, it makes me long for what might be.
Michael tells me I should start with the man in the mirror. I'm not starting at a great place, though. I don't even know where to begin. I know what the issue is, a Y that should have been an X. But I have no idea what to do about it.
For now, I'm left to grow out my hair, hoping the person I'll see in the mirror tomorrow will be worth admiring. I can try to style my hair a bit, hide the bottom half of my face, but I would never labor to do much more. As much as I say I hate the mirror, I wish I could spend more time in front of it, working out the kinks and bringing myself closer to what I want to see.
I'm just not quite brave enough, and I will probably never be. My ambitions will likely forever remain as such. Never to become a reality realized.
Post by Kai
Illust by Eddie
Some might suggest I brush my teeth without looking at the mirror. But whether I continue to stare or only look while my eyes graze past, it doesn't really matter. My doppelganger would continue to lurk in the mirror, nonetheless. At the end of the day, I am who I am. Regardless of whether I check or not.
I am never far enough away from sanity that I forget who I am. The mirrors in my bathroom and the mirrors that the people around me hold up absolutely ensure I will never forget.
I would tell myself that I am not so vain as to be overly obsessed with how I looked. But at the end of the day, that's what it comes down to. Appearances.
People always want to downplay the role that appearance plays, but for me, it's something I could never get over. You would be deluding yourself if you genuinely believed a person's appearance did not matter. What we see in the mirror, what we think others see, they all fundamentally shape our self-image.
And for me, it makes me long for what might be.
Michael tells me I should start with the man in the mirror. I'm not starting at a great place, though. I don't even know where to begin. I know what the issue is, a Y that should have been an X. But I have no idea what to do about it.
For now, I'm left to grow out my hair, hoping the person I'll see in the mirror tomorrow will be worth admiring. I can try to style my hair a bit, hide the bottom half of my face, but I would never labor to do much more. As much as I say I hate the mirror, I wish I could spend more time in front of it, working out the kinks and bringing myself closer to what I want to see.
I'm just not quite brave enough, and I will probably never be. My ambitions will likely forever remain as such. Never to become a reality realized.
Post by Kai
Illust by Eddie
you didn't have to credit me lmfao
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