Those Sleepless Nights - Kaiden

Kaiden, like gaiden (外伝). Get it? Get it? It's funny. First post in a while. I'll set the bar low and maybe it'll make it easier for others to write.

There are many social causes that I feel a responsibility to help further. Fighting racism, sexism, bigotry, hunger, poverty, global warming, the list goes on and on. Aside from the daunting task of bringing about the revolutionary social changes necessary to fully address these issues, there are smaller responsibilities that these causes demand of those who care. It can be a very small thing, like making sure to turn off the lights when you aren't using them. And it can also be significant yet personal thing, like not being racist or sexist. Won't change the world, but you have to start there, at the very least.

I've been reading Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay, a collection of essays about her experiences with feminism. As the title might suggest, she describes herself as a bad feminist. She feels that in some ways, she falls short of the ideals of feminism. Among the many takeaways is how personal feminism can be.

There was a bit of joke among my friends when I was fresh out of a breakup. Bring up almost anything in the world, and I could figure out some way, however circuitous, to relate the topic back to my ex. And I would. Everything was an opportunity to have a pity party on my behalf, fake crying and all. Though the exercise might seem like something akin to mental gymnastics, it didn't feel like it to me. The associations arose naturally. We experienced so much together, creating tons of fodder for somber recollection following the break up.

Anyway I'm doing it again. Feminism, woman, my ex. The connective tissue is there. I ought to have given my ex more compassion and empathy, is what I'm thinking now. But I guess feminism is pretty irrelevant to the discussion because it's not really about gender. It was just the first step for me to find myself bumbling about on this word processor writing a shitty blog post.

Lemon by Kenshi Yonezu still hits hard. Almost everything is relatable, except my ex didn't smell much like lemons. It's been quite some time since my ex and I broke up but here I still am. I'm gonna play some TFT.